Çays & Guys (Part 1): Exploring Winter Drinks and Online Dating in Istanbul

With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, scrounging up a date and finding a place to take ’em can be quite the daunting task. Istanbul’s February weather doesn’t exactly lend itself to embarking on midnight boat cruises or going for romantic strolls through the park. But what it does have in abundance are fabulous winter drinks in equally fabulous, date-worthy locations — and a lot of single men on OKCupid. (Well… at least they told me they were single.)

Once the chilly season began and I found myself staring at couples in the grocery store wondering why I didn’t have anyone to cook this weird turnip thing I wanted to try with (that’s what couples do, right?), I decided to embark on a winter drinks dating adventure. So instead of sampling these classic cold-weather beverages all on my lonesome, I got a taste of some delicious, boring, traditional, intoxicating and flavorless drinks — and men. All in time for the big V-day.

Meet the guys:

Z, Engin, Tutku, Kansas & Ethan Hawke (from R to L, names have been cutified)
Z, Enginar, Tutku, Kansas & Ethan Hawke (from L to R, names have been cutified)

And the drinks: 

Boza, Türk Kahvesi (Turkish coffee), Çay, Sıcak Çikolata (hot chocolate), Sicak Sarap (hot wine), & Sahlep (R to L)
Boza, Türk Kahvesi (Turkish coffee), Çay, Sıcak Çikolata (hot chocolate), Sicak Sarap (hot wine) & Sahlep (L to R)

After browsing through some profiles on OKC, I contacted a handful of seemingly sane, non-predatory-looking dudes (above!) and asked if they would like to grab a drink with me. To be totally transparent (and dispel any hopes that my invitation meant I was dtf), I explained what was up and what I’d be writing about.

A word from the weary: OKCupid in Istanbul is a hilarious and scary place. Within minutes of making a profile I had dozens of hits and just as many messages. Most either said “slm” or “how are u,” but many others had perfected the art of composing missives that were equal parts raunch, cheese and ethnic slur.

Mexican Hot Chocolate, my favorite kind

Date 1: Sıcak Çikolata @J’adore with Z
Z’s profile reminded me of this Italian stilt walker I’d met at a festival — colorful clothing, a goofy grin, ridiculous hair and a Johnny Cash quote were enough for me to send him a message asking if he’d like to meet for some hot chocolate. His responses were perhaps a little too sweet and eager, as was the (albeit really awesome) CD he gifted me when we met at the gates of Galatasaray High School. But the conversation was better than I expected (topics included: Kurdish rights, anti-theism, a button museum) as was the hot chocolate. J’adore is an adorable, teeny-tiny chocolatier that is essentially an attic turned cafe. The small size of the establishment makes me think reservations are a must on the weekend, but if your boo is the type who’d appreciate a cozy chocolate shop quietly hidden away off the main Istiklal drag, then this is the place for y’all. However, for a first date, and one that lacked any real semblance of chemistry, the ambiance at J’adore was just a tad too lovey-dovey. I ordered the Mexican Hot Chocolate (it’s my weakness), and to my date’s discredit, so did he. (I hate a wasted opportunity to compare dishes. Also, he no longer had the ridiculous hair.)

The date: 3/5. No chemistry, good convo. Would hang out again as friends (and we did).
The spot: 4/5. Perfect for a third date or a romantic pitstop with a significant other. Blind dates beware.
Other tasty hot chocolate spots: Rumeli Çikolatacısı, Çikolata & Kahve, Ara Cafe, Valonia

 

Vefa bozacı pourin’ the boza

Date 2: Boza @Vefa Bozacısı with Enginar
Enginar actually messaged me first on OKC, but he was totally non-creepy and claimed to be a photographer (though, for a photog, his profile pics were pretty lame), so I figured he’d be down for a trek to Fatih’s Vefa neighborhood for some boza. A fermented wheat drink, boza sounds seriously unappetizing, but I found it and the charming little Vefa shop it’s sold in to be quite a treat. But, alas, definitely not date-worthy — both the place and the dude. Before we even met, Enginar didn’t want me to have his number, which I found a bit odd seeing as I was the fragile young woman putting my purity at risk by agreeing to meet a stranger, but he eventually realized he was living in 2015 and gave in — though he refused to let me take his picture, which I can respect. (You’re a swell guy Enginar, no worries, we just didn’t click.) I enjoyed the boza — I didn’t expect it to be served cold or for it to be so thick. Honestly, it made me think of applesauce. I opted not to sprinkle any dried chickpeas on top because I hate those little guys, but traditionally that’s what people do. Vefa Bozacısı is a classic Istanbul haunt for boza lovers, and its small interior is decorated with the characteristic blue Turkish tiles and even has Atatürk’s very own boza cup on display. The fluorescent lighting, teeming crowd and surly boza-dispensing men don’t make it the most romantic of locations, but it’s certainly worth the trip with friends or family.

The date: 2/5. A decent time, but felt like I was showing a visiting distant cousin around.
The spot: 2/5. I liked it a lot, but it was the wrong place for a blind date.

Date 3: Sıcak Şarap @Misket with Tutku
It was while arranging this date that I discovered the great capacity for both awesomeness and awkwardness that OKC has. I found myself without plans at 7 p.m. on a Monday after work and thought I’d see if I could get a move on with this article — so I messaged Tutku cause he had a cool Calvin & Hobbes tattoo and appeared to be “online and nearby.” Twenty minutes later, I had a date for some sıcak şarap at Misket set for 9 o’clock. It was slowly dawning on me why so many men are on this site… if you’re just looking for booty, OKC is one happy home for pirates. With this (and my clearly strict selection process) in mind, I should have been a little more apprehensive of Tutku’s intentions, but I wasn’t planning on partaking in the wine. A good thing, because Tutku wasn’t a huge fan. There wasn’t enough spice, and none of the fruit you find in mulled wine at other locales, which was a bummer because as far as a venue for a casual blind date goes, Misket was doing pretty well. A wine house in Beşiktaş with several tiny rooms each with their own floor, Misket has an eclectic assortment of worn furniture that creates a cozy, private atmosphere. But this was definitely a last-stop-of-the-night kind of place to wind down… and get down. I’ll admit, out of all the dates I’d been on so far, Tutku and I had the most chemistry, but that was probably more because we got into two arguments in the span of one hour. (I made the mistake of calling him a “gamer,” he made the mistake of disliking the term “feminist.”) Unfortunately, that (and my opinions on “Game of Thrones”) put an end to any future possibilities for the two of us, but hey, I still like his tattoo.

The date: 4/5. I’d take a heated argument over tired conversation most any day, but especially today. Irreconcilable differences knocks off the last point though.
The spot: 3/5. A little musty and worn for a proper date, but it’s a nice neighborhood joint to meet up for a drink.

Other sıcak şarap spots: Bistro Şair Leyla, Abbas, Viktor Levi.

Dates 4, 5 and 6 and the lovely(ish) spots where they were had are coming soon…

A year in small-town Turkey wasn't enough for this South Carolina girl. But after heading stateside, the dreams of buying yogurt by the bucklet-load wouldn't let up, and she found herself living on the breakfast-laden streets of Beşiktaş. A writer, editor and cheese-lover, there's one thing keeping this happy-go-lucky journalist here in the land of İskender kebab and künefe -- Turkish food. Food, food and just maybe the Bosporus too.

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