The Struggles of a New Yabancı in Turkey

Moving to Istanbul was an exciting thought. I get to live in a new country, surrounded by people of a different culture. Oh, the opportunities, the independence, the history, and the food… Moving abroad felt a lot like I was given a clean slate to start life all over again.

I was so extremely oblivious to the fact that I had to build myself from scratch. I had to learn Turkish, understand the city of Istanbul, know where to go to get things done, and get accustomed to Turkish culture and people; among the other struggles a new yabancı in Turkey goes through. As time passed by, I realized I didn’t have access to my cuisine. I was physically distant from friends, and I could hardly communicate in English, as the majority of the locals speak only Turkish. With each passing day, I constantly found these minor inconveniences accumulating, to the point they started to take a bit of a toll on me. I thought I was not resilient or adaptive enough. I thought I was unable to adjust to a new country like everyone else was able to. I thought I was not strong enough to overcome these difficulties. Looking back, much wiser and more empathetic, I see how harsh I was being towards myself.

If you’re reading this, chances are you may be struggling or have struggled with some difficulties adapting to Turkey. You’re at the right place and you’re definitely not alone. It is important to remember that these difficulties and experiences can vary depending on the person, the country they are moving to, the duration of their stay, the level of support they have, and how they practice resilience when faced with a stressful situation.

It’s been 7 years since I first moved to Istanbul, and I think I have had my fair share of experiences. I have tried to compile these challenges into a simplified list, along with some information on how one can cope with them in an effective manner.

Culture shock:

Entering a new culture can be stressful and disorienting. In fact, no matter how similar it could be to your own, cultures are diverse. In moderate to extreme cases, it can cause feelings of loneliness, frustration, confusion, and even isolation. This can make it much more challenging to adjust to the new environment, customs, and norms.

Antidote: Acceptance.

Acceptance is very important when it comes to culture shock. What you should try to do is to practice acceptance towards the new culture (‘it is what it is’) and towards yourself (practice acceptance for being in the situation). Try to find similarities between your culture and Turkish culture while accepting the differences and uniqueness of both. It is okay to like and dislike things about a new culture or yours. Some things may be done better back home, and vice versa. After all, you can design and decorate your own subjective concept of culture however you like.

Identity confusion:

Being a foreigner in a new country allows you to be subjected to new experiences and situations. With that in mind, these experiences can either make you develop a stronger understanding of yourself or make you question yourself. You may ask yourself questions such as “What are my values?”, “What is my purpose in life?”, or “Who am I?”. You may also feel like parts of your ‘past’ personality are fading away.

Antidote: Self-acknowledgment.

An identity crisis usually comes with questions about your place in the world and sense of self. Losing your sense of self can be a very difficult journey but it can also be an opportunity to explore yourself and grow. Acknowledging the hardships and challenges of being a foreigner in a different country than your own is the first step to accepting yourself and the situation you are in. Self-acknowledgment encourages progress and is a tool for transformation. Remember that you have the ability to choose what you like from the new culture, and whether you would want to implement it in your life. Reflect on how far you’ve come and what you’ve learned, and acknowledge the changes you have experienced.

Language barriers:

Communication is a fundamental aspect of life. It is a tool that
allows us to express ourselves and understand others, to fulfill a need or address an
issue. Not speaking the language of the country you are living in can make it difficult to
integrate or form relationships, or make you feel frustrated and/or isolated. Even if you
are able to speak the basics of a language, there may still be differences in pronunciation or grammar that can easily lead to misunderstandings (I’m looking at you, the letter ‘ı’). The fear of making mistakes can further discourage you from attempting to
speak, and you can simply give up entirely.

Antidote: Practice.

The best way to learn a language is to throw yourself into it. Whether you prefer solving
grammar books, watching movies with subtitles, socializing with Turkish people, or downloading a language app, there are tons of ways you can learn Turkish. Feel free to practice the phrases you learn or throw in a couple of Turkish words in your daily lingo. Turkish people love it when they see foreigners trying to speak Turkish. Be patient with yourself and remember that it is okay to make mistakes. That’s, after all, how we learn best.

Homesickness:

Being away from family and friends can be difficult, leading to feelings of homesickness, loneliness, and longing. These feelings can make it harder for you to adjust, as you may dwell on the thought that you have lost all your loved ones. This could discourage you from seeking and building new relationships in the new environment altogether.

Antidote: Openness.

It is okay to miss your loved ones. Remember that you haven’t lost the people you left back home. While you are not physically capable of being with them, you can cultivate your relationships from a distance, through social media. You can also try to make new friends and connections here in Turkey, by visiting events, socializing with neighbors, or building relationships with colleagues and classmates. Practice being open to opportunities where you can work on your social and relationship skills. In time, you will find yourself surrounded by reliable and supportive friends.

Financial difficulties:

This is something that may or may not affect you, but it is a pretty common subject among foreigners who move to a new country. Living in a new country can be expensive for some, especially if they are not familiar with the cost of living and the economy. Some countries may have different tax laws and regulations, making it difficult to understand how much one should be paying and what benefits they are entitled to.

Antidote: Planning and/or budgeting.

The first six months are always the most challenging, and it may take some time for one to
adjust. Try to budget your expenses according to your financial status and income. Consider how much things cost and how much you spend on them (rent, bills, necessities, entertainment, transportation, etc.), and make adjustments accordingly. You can also complete your financial responsibilities according to their priority.

Work-related issues:

Finding a job in a new country can be difficult, and even if you do
find work, you may encounter challenges related to language, cultural differences, and
unfamiliar workplace norms. As a foreigner, you may also find yourself in situations
where you don’t feel welcome, especially if other employees are not able to communicate with you in English.

Antidote: Patience and determination.
The job market can be slightly discouraging given the issues such as unemployment and
competition. Apply to job opportunities, considering your skills and personality. Eventually,
something will turn up. If you do score a job, consider the job’s incentives and benefits, as well as how it supports your growth and development as an individual. Consider the challenges and stress of the job, and if they are worth your efforts and concerns. Be patient with yourself, you’re doing your best.

Final take

Moving to a new country can be an exciting opportunity, but it has its challenges. We should keep in mind that it is okay to go through emotional, financial, and social difficulties because we are trying to find and settle ourselves in a country that isn’t our own. Many foreigners have demonstrated that both adjustment and adaptation are possible. It does require some work. Whether one would face these difficulties with courage, humor, optimism, or action, there is no ‘perfect’ way to cope with things.

As human beings, we are so inclined to focus on our failures and neglect our accomplishments. It is okay to feel alone, sad, confused, and irritated, but we should also remember that we can overcome these difficulties if we practice kindness, patience, and understanding towards ourselves. Kindness allows us to be open to experiences. It allows us to understand our struggles and helps us adjust to our new lives. Instead of complaining about our lack of knowledge or fluency, we will encourage learning more. We will miss our traditional foods and/or friends and family but also appreciate a good Turkish meal or a valuable new friend. In time, these challenges can be overcome, leaving you with a very rewarding travel experience, a great story to tell, and solid advice for starters. Who knows? Maybe, just like me, you’ll be writing about it someday.

DISCLAIMER: If you are experiencing adjustment problems in severity, please do not hesitate to contact a professional to talk about your feelings.