In all facets of daily, human life, the divide between what is expressed to others and what is in truth thought in one’s own, private mind, is always intriguing. This is particularly evident at the end of each teaching term, when the time comes to enter a mandatory comment for each student. Such records, inaccessible to the students, but shared with co-workers and management, are not the appropriate forum for brutal honesty; one must be tactful and professional and choose their words carefully… But c’mon, let’s get real.
”He struggles with grammar and could use some extra speaking practice, both in and outside of the classroom.”
This kid neither uttered nor composed a single correct sentence for the entirety of the term. The fact that both he and his teacher were overjoyed when he successfully wrote his full name and class number at the top of his final exam, is cause enough for alarm. His teacher strongly recommends that he forgo summer school and head off directly to study abroad until he gains proficiency in the language…that is, indefinitely.
”Very sporadic attendance and unprepared when present.”
The teacher can count on one hand how many times they saw this kid. They may have attended more classes than that, but their total lack of contribution to the lesson, not to mention their utterly vapid personality, banal fashion sense and the way they kind of half-smiled when the teacher inquired as to their weekend-homework status, all contributed to the teacher’s sense that this kid would have been better off never having showed up at all.
”No Show.”
The teacher (along with everyone else in the school) only saw her on the first day of classes. Sure, it was a warm day and everyone should be able to dress in a way that makes them feel comfortable in the heat, but she really took the ‘less is more’ maxim to a whole new level and thus ensured that not a single thing was learned by any of the male students that day.
”A confident speaker, eager to express himself, but makes many fossilized grammar mistakes and often disrupts the class.”
This bronzed and muscly archetype spent a single summer working for his uncle’s tourism company in the south and is suddenly convinced, after getting a couple of American Instagram followers and a British girl’s phone number, that he’s fluent. If only the other, more competent students had even a fraction of his self-assuredness, or if he had even a sliver of their studiousness, someone looking like a fully-formed pupil might have emerged.
”Strong grammar, reading and writing skills, but easily distracted and often aloof in class.”
From day one, she’d known her capabilities, calculated the precise, bare minimum of effort she’d have to exert to pass the course, and subsequently refused to utter one sound or compose one mark upon the page in excess of that line. Every leftover ounce of energy funneled directly into the meticulous maintenance of her online image. Reportedly well-loved (or at least heavily-followed) on Instagram, she was unable to maintain eye-contact with a single one of her classmates.
”A silent and somewhat awkward student in class, but always well-prepared and attentive.”
The teacher was unsure, for the duration of the term, whether this student’s rapt gaze was an indication that they were eagerly soaking up every bit of grammar and vocabulary they could, day-dreaming about their next murderous rampage, or madly in love with said teacher. And how, with their eyes permanently fixed upon the teacher (in that blank, disturbing expression), could they always be the first student to complete all of the required classwork? The teacher, needless to say, promptly declined their Facebook friend request.
”A pleasant student to have in class, but struggles with vocabulary and is very hesitant to speak.”
This student had absolutely nothing to say, in or outside of class, in either English or their native tongue, and yet was the last student to leave after each class, often lingering uncomfortably over the teacher’s desk, smiling, blinking and heavily breathing. The teacher, upon finishing class, would immediately bolt for the door so as to avoid this situation, but this student seemed to be lurking around the bend of every hallway, waiting to stop and submit the teacher to a fresh bout of oppressive, silent smiling.
”Though their attendance record was perfect, this student was quite unmotivated and unprepared.”
This guy seemed to think that he was in his own living room and that his teacher and classmates were merely inconvenient intruders upon his time and space. He sat directly beside the class computer, as he could charge his phone there, rested his feet on an empty chair, and reclined into the comfort of his virtual world. He endlessly scrolled through every form of social media his phone could store, watched videos, sent messages and played games. He was, however, very respectful of the class’s speaking and listening practices–he’d considerately put in his headphones as he watched the highlights of the previous night’s match.
”A nice enough student, but often asked irrelevant, distracting questions in class.”
When this student asked the teacher, in the middle of a grammar lesson, which country was below North Korea, they single-handedly shattered the rule that no question is a stupid question.
”A very clever student, but had difficulty following instructions.”
After repeating it aloud four times, writing and circling it on the board in red marker, saying it in three separate languages (plus universal sign), just in case anyone missed it, this student still managed to ask the teacher, ‘which page?’ This student circled both the ‘True’ and ‘False’ options on their exam and instead wrote a five-paragraph essay. This student translated the words, ‘student name’ and ‘class number,’ written at the top of the exam, into his native language. This student, upon the teacher’s announcement of ‘break time,’ smashed the classroom clock into pieces.
(This piece, though containing shards of truth, is meant to be taken lightly. It is not about actual, individual students, but archetypes and composites of various characters witnessed throughout years of teaching, often exaggerated to make the point. This writer, in fact, loves his job and his students. He just needs to get real sometimes.)
