“If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” -Joseph Campbell
When I graduated from university, many of my friends were heading off to New York City–some for graduate school, others in search of well-paying jobs in their fields. They encouraged me to join them, excitedly describing the fun times we’d have, but, while I was periodically tempted to submit to the easy momentum of it, a more substantial part of me knew that it wasn’t what I truly wanted to do. I’d been in school my whole life and, after studying philosophy for four years–racking my brain over the ‘big questions’ only to conclude that there were no real answers–I wanted to live life in all of its complex immediacy, and to see and experience the world outside of the one in which I’d for so long been complacently contained.
As my peers left, one-by-one, for the city, I held onto my itch and waited. Though swarmed by fears, and at times even doubting the entire endeavor, when the day came to make my own way, I did–from the stagnant comfort of home into the pulsing mystery of the unknown, I set off. While my old classmates and companions started their new studies and waded into the job market, I found myself living alone in a small, bare flat in Lima, Peru–teaching English, learning Spanish and wandering around, in wonder. For each stretch of lonesome aimlessness I experienced, there was one of ecstatic discovery. While my time there was often quite difficult and discouraging, and even when I felt as though I were utterly directionless, I never questioned the ultimate merit of the course I’d taken. I’d listened to and followed the itch inside of me, and though it certainly didn’t quench my every longing, it was the right thing for me to do at that time–the fulfillment of an utterly inner call.
There have been several such instances throughout my life, when I’ve been faced with a decision between the ‘comfortable’ and the ‘challenging,’ the ‘practical’ and the ‘wild,’ the ‘societally encouraged’ and the ‘internally compelled.’ Whether regarding a school, a discipline, a job, a place or a relationship, I’ve always chosen the latter, less stable yet more intriguing, route, and always it’s proven to have been right; ‘right,’ that is, by no standard other than that of my own, intuitive awareness. There has often been a crucial point, after having taken the leap–on the other side of all the fear and anxiety–when the sudden emergence of a person or opportunity, or even just a single moment of understanding, has convinced me of my path’s truth. One stunning, sunlit ferry-ride, one spontaneous encounter of kindred spirits, one moment of mergence so strong I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else, was enough to dispel all doubts and reassure me as I made my way. The intense clarity of such soulful signs outweighed all ‘reasoning’ to the contrary.
While this concept may most obviously be realized in the form of moving to a new country, it needn’t be experienced through such drastic, external change. It is about listening to and following an internal call, which is unique for everyone. For some it may mean changing their job or at least making time to pursue certain interests outside of work, while for others it may mean volunteering or spending their holiday at a natural retreat; for some it may mean reconnecting with an old friend or reaching out to make new ones, while for others it may mean withdrawing from social life so as to enter into solitude for awhile; for some it may mean embracing spontaneity by way of unplanned travel, while for others it may mean committing, with discipline, to creative work. And for most people, it is not a singular, unswerving conviction, but rather a dynamic energy which fluctuates and transitions over time. What appears most urgent in the present may have held no meaning 5 years ago, and may lose its significance 5 years from now.
The important thing is to pay attention to your inner, unrelenting voice, and to honor it as best as you can, that is, to believe in its merit and give it a chance to manifest. When you smother its light, in doubt or denial, and live in contradiction to its call, you sadly neglect the most vital dimension of your being. But when you give it space to emerge and let it guide the critical course of your life, it will lead you precisely where you were meant to go. And, ironically, the very choices you’ve made, which at the time may have seemed crazy and impractical, will in retrospect take on a mysterious glow of cohesion, as though you were merely discovering a way that’d already been laid out before you.
Years after I’d learned Spanish out of pure curiosity, I met a Peruvian traveler in my hostel in Macedonia, amidst a huge snow storm, and because of that seemingly random decision and effort I’d made nearly a decade before to learn their native language, I was able to befriend and help them along their way. When you live in accordance with the flow of your soulful core, these kinds of encounters and insights happen more often– perfectly placed reminders of the mystic pulse within you.
Images included in post courtesy of the author.
