Being an expat is difficult. You need courage to leave not only your comfort zone and sense of security behind, but also your lifestyle, habits, relationships and memories. It means being aware of the fact that you might have to face financial, social, cultural and emotional challenges as you adjust to a new culture and environment.
Sometimes you would try to integrate yourself with the rest of society but some barriers might discourage you. Not speaking the same language is one of the very first problems you’ll encounter. On top of that, sometimes things don’t turn out as you expected. As a result, isolation is an unwanted consequence. But, how can you cope with isolation? And how can you get rid of the poisonous arms of melancholia which dwell in your mind, whispering in your ears to give up everything and move back to your safe haven?
As a psychologist, I have worked with numerous expats throughout my career. Through personal observations and occupational experiences, I came up with some potential solutions to cope with the sense of isolation that many expats feel.
Social Support
Before you start seeking support from a therapist, first take a look at your circle of friends. You might realise that you haven’t kept in touch with many of them for a long time due to the stress and rush of daily life. Invite them for a cup of coffee and chat. Self-disclosure is a process of communication by which one person reveals information about himself or herself to another. It is the best medicine to get over isolation and loneliness.
It’s always a good idea to be a part of a community, meet new people and participate in social gatherings on different platforms. Being a cosmopolitan city, Istanbul offers many different expat community options such as Meetup, Internations and A Small World, as well as Yabangee. You can easily become a member of these communities and join their events, seminars and social gatherings to make new friends and stop feeling isolated and all alone in a huge city like Istanbul.
Getting a Pet
Having an animal in your life to care for has always been a functional way to feel the joys of unconditional love. In circumstances where you’re feeling anxious, depressed, miserable or hopeless, a pet could light a candle of affection in your heart. They won’t ever abandon or leave you behind. Moreover, owners of pets automatically join one of society’s largest unofficial communities. When you walk with your little doggie in a city park, you’ll enjoy companionship and likely get some positive attention as well. It can be a great opportunity to meet other animal lovers and possibly even forge new friendships (or even romances). It’s worth noting that pets are of course a genuine commitment, so please take the time for self-reflection and keep this in mind when deciding to provide a forever home to our furry friends.
Exercise
Serotonin is a type of hormone responsible for the sense of relief and happiness. According to most psychiatric studies, Serotonin-based anti-depressants are significantly effective on major mood disorders and anxiety disorders. However, for mild cases of these disorders that most expats go through, anti-depressants are not as effective.
Studies show that daily exercise has a significant impact on the level of Serotonin that the body produces. Serotonin which provides happiness and relaxation and Dopamine which supplies the sense of motivation, reward and pleasure are released increasingly through routine exercises. Consequently, the factors that lead to isolation in the long term such as depression, anxiety, melancholia and hopelessness can easily be eliminated through exercising regularly. So, get your sneakers, plug in your headphones and play some upbeat music! It’s going to make you feel pumped up for sure!
Social Media
No need to be shy! Go check your previous Whatsapp, Facebook and Instagram conversations. You might remember some warm feelings from your social interactions in the past. Add acquaintances on social media and start chatting. The best way to start a dialogue is to find someone who has similar interests with you. You can talk to them about the same rock band you both like, the same team you support, the same club you enjoy. Try to find a common point and share the passion!
Meditation and Mindfulness
When you have negative feelings about everything going on in your life, sometimes taking a deep breath and scanning your body, heart and mind is the best solution. Mindfulness activities such as yoga and meditation might provide amazing effects on your mental health. In time, you may realize that emotional barriers are decreasing in your heart and soul, making it easier for you to get rid of isolation and blend in with society. Check out some of the yoga centres in Istanbul. They will be more than happy to welcome you! Cleanse your mind and open your heart for new beginnings.
Nutrition
You know what doctors and dietitians say: bowels are our second brain. The way they work determines the way we feel in our day to day lives. Since our bowels are directly fed by what we eat, our nutritive selections can easily affect our mood. Foods with natural and organic content are capable of empowering our immune and nervous systems. You wouldn’t believe how a balanced diet could effect the way you feel about life and make you more balanced and positive. Better start conquering those organic food bazaars in the districts of Istanbul.
Nature
Coming back to our natural roots is always a good idea for our well-being. Stepping on soil with bare feet, picking fruits from trees, swimming in a lake or running in the woods are some of the best ways to get rid of stress and negative energy. City parks are the most convenient options in warm weather. Grab a sandwich and a book, and go have picnic in a park located in your neighborhood.
Art
Who doesn’t feel better after watching a great movie or a theater play? Don’t you feel more fulfilled after visiting a breath-taking exhibition in an art center? Art has always been a refreshing factor for confused minds. Furthermore, making art is the shortest definition of expressive therapy. Sometimes it’s not easy to verbalize your feelings. Expressing your feelings and thoughts through art would be easier. Music, painting, photography, writing… Consumption or production… Just become a part of it! Art is going to dissolve the heavy black clouds in your mind and help you relax!
Personal Interests and Hobbies
If you want to have a good start in your social interactions and strengthen friendly relations, you must have something interesting to talk about! What are your passions? Which personal interest or hobby is the one you can talk about forever? How do you answer when a newly made friend asks you what you enjoy doing in your free time?
Studies show that people look more interesting and charming while they talk about a topic passionately. Because in such moments, we learn something new that we didn’t know before. Plus, the positive energy of a passionate person is easily passed on to others, making everyone feel more positive and satisfied. Deepen your skills on an interesting hobby and share those skills and ideas with people around you. I bet you will have absolutely positive reinforcement, which in turn will make you feel less isolated and more self confident.
Psychotherapy
Sometimes you can’t make it on your own. No matter what you do, you just can’t get rid of the feeling of burden in your chest. Things might get unbearable. Maybe it’s the accumulation of your past experiences, traumas and memories on top of being an expat in a completely different country and culture. During these periods of time, you might need someone to disentangle you from your worries, sadness and hopelessness and help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
If you tried the options above and didn’t get a positive result, you might consider getting some professional help. Don’t forget: It’s never too early or too late to get a helping hand in life and asking for help is not a sign of weakness, it is a virtue.
Comment below and let us know your tips for with feelings of isolation as an expat.
